


Still Dean

by Batalons_butt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Hates Himself, Happy Ending, M/M, Pining, Supportive! Sam, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 04:56:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14012646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batalons_butt/pseuds/Batalons_butt
Summary: Dean feels like his worst fear is about to come true, but Sam won’t let it





	Still Dean

“Don’t go,” his brother spoke softly, but he caught every word as they pierced his ears. Dean stilled, his hand still clutching onto the cold, steel doorknob.

“If you want to punch me, go ahead and do it, bitch,” he snarled, tears welling up in his eyes . He knew that he deserved it, but he couldn’t bring himself to face Sam, who he had loved for all these years. 

 Honestly, he didn’t know what possessed him to do it. He had no alcohol to blame and they weren’t in the middle of a moment. Dean had no excuse to why he had kissed his younger brother as the man entered their shared motel room, but he knew that it was a mistake. 

 “Don’t go,” repeated the younger man. His voice was pleading with his brother, begging him not to leave him in his own.

“You’re allowed to hate me, Sammy,” dean puffed, letting his arms drop to his sides. Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Why would I hate you?” he chocked out. “Y-you’re _dean_ , you’re my big brother, hate is nowhere near what comes to mind when I think of you.” Dean stared at him.

“What?” He asked.

”Dont go,” Sam rasped out. “I need you , please stay.” Dean took a step towards the bed that his brother was sitting on and cupped Sam’s cheek with his calloused hand.

“Baby boy, don’t cry,” he whispered, his eyes darting to the tears leaking out of Sam’s wide eyes. Sam shook his head miserably, his own shaking hand gripping Dean’s.

“Don’t go,” he repeated sullenly. “I need you.” The younger man hiccuped as Dean stared at him, confused.

“Sammy, do you honestly feel safe around me after that?” he asked. Sam let out a sob and nodded. “Really?” Dean asked. “Cos I need you to know that I would never, _never_ , attempt to force myself upon you. I-I-I’m so sorry Sammy.” 

“I know you’re not going to rape me,” Sam cried, probably a bit louder than necessary. “You’re still dean, you’re still my brother.”

”I’m still the sick fuck who has been pining over the kid he swore to protect since junior high,” Dean puffed, dropping to his knees so he was kneeling in front of Sam, his head bowed in shame. 

“So?” the younger barked. Dean raised an eyebrow. “Dean, if you’ve been wa-wanting this- me-something since we were teenagers and this is the first thing you’ve ever done then how the hell can you claim I’m not safe?” Sam continued. 

“ I used to watch you sleep,” Dean confessed. “I was nineteen or something and I liked how angelic you looked.” 

“I don’t care,” growled Sam. “You’re my brother! If you wanna watch me sleep I couldn’t care less but please, _please_ don’t leave me!” 

“How can you still want me around?” Dean cried. 

“Ever since you started hunting with dad I would stay awake fearful that you’d never come back,” Sam whispered, his eyes never leaving his crying brother. “I still have nightmares about being abandoned. I wouldn’t push you away over this.” 

“I don’t deserve you,” sobbed Dean, letting his tears flow now. His dignity was gone and he no longer cared what Sam thought of him.

“Neither of us deserve to be alone,” murmured Sam, stroking his brother’s hair. “Promise you’ll stay?”

”I-I can’t,” cried Dean. Sam shook his head, biting into his lip as tears fell down his face.

“Don’t go,” he begged. 

“S-Sammy, while we’re being honest here,” Dean began. “I-I dream things about you, things nobody should about my baby brother.” 

“Oh no, Dean gets wet dreams,” Sam muttered sarcastically. He sighed. “Look, Dean, I don’t know what I’m my life I have done to convince you that I’m such a homophobic bastard I’d kick you out of my life but- but I’m _not_. I love you and I want to be around you. Please don’t go.” 

“I-I could hurt you,” whispered Dean.

”No you couldn’t,” replied Sam. “You’re my big brother, there’s no way in hell, heaven or anywhere in between that you would do anything to deliberately hurt me.” 

“So, we’re good?” Dean questioned, his sad, green eyes finally meeting his brother’s.

“Of course,” murmured Sam, standing up and pulling his brother into a hug. “You’re still the same person, still my Dean.” 

“Tell me if you’ve feel uncomfortable sharing a room with me,” begged Dean, his head resting on his brother’s shoulder.

“Tell me if I’m being a prick about this,” Sam replied.

“No terms or conditions?” wondered Dean. “You don’t wanna drive the impala for a month or something?”

”I’m not a jackass,” snarled Sam, through gritted teeth. He paused, before smirking. “My one request is that you keep your dreams to yourself” Dean rolled his eyes and smirked. Somehow , he knew that they were gonna be alright. 


End file.
